Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Lent
| Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. What do you think about Lent? I wasn't sure what to think, so did a little research. If I was going to pursue Lent, I'd have to really understand its origins and what I can do about it now. The site below helped me out, and if you're interested like I am, hopefully it can do the same for you. | ||
Monday, February 27, 2006
'Luya!
What up wonderfuls?!?
After endless hours of internet tweeking (and fellowshipping) followed by the wave offering of the alarm detector, your president can now write on the blog. So, this means the e-mail yahoogroup may be thrown out the window soon. (Gasp!) Beware!!
Book table, Wednesday, 12-2pm! Be there or be square. You guys rock.
After endless hours of internet tweeking (and fellowshipping) followed by the wave offering of the alarm detector, your president can now write on the blog. So, this means the e-mail yahoogroup may be thrown out the window soon. (Gasp!) Beware!!
Book table, Wednesday, 12-2pm! Be there or be square. You guys rock.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Hey everybody, here are a few updates to note...
XA this week begins at 8 PM. As Shorty had mentioned last week, we are hoping to get into the Lantern Festival, but tickets are sold out and we're waiting on the Chinese Club to help out and earn some passes. Same place, different time. Hope to see you there!
Also, we're opening up a second section of CGS on Wednesdays, from 6-7 in UC 113. So, if 4-5 didn't work for you, come on over to the redux!
I've been meaning to get times to hang out with each of you on a regular basis, but circumstances arose and my life is still settling back down. So, let's get this started. Let me know what works for you, or I'll be contacting each of you. Either way.
That's about it for now...
XA this week begins at 8 PM. As Shorty had mentioned last week, we are hoping to get into the Lantern Festival, but tickets are sold out and we're waiting on the Chinese Club to help out and earn some passes. Same place, different time. Hope to see you there!
Also, we're opening up a second section of CGS on Wednesdays, from 6-7 in UC 113. So, if 4-5 didn't work for you, come on over to the redux!
I've been meaning to get times to hang out with each of you on a regular basis, but circumstances arose and my life is still settling back down. So, let's get this started. Let me know what works for you, or I'll be contacting each of you. Either way.
That's about it for now...
Friday, February 10, 2006
CGS
ala Christian Growth Seminar
Wednesdays, 4-5pm in the UC
Begins: Feb 15th - Rm. 207
The rest will be in Rm. 113 except on 3/15 when we're in Rm. 241
If you have any questions contact Brent!
Wednesdays, 4-5pm in the UC
Begins: Feb 15th - Rm. 207
The rest will be in Rm. 113 except on 3/15 when we're in Rm. 241
If you have any questions contact Brent!
Monday, February 06, 2006
Good morning, everybody. This was the jist of the message I had prepared for last night, thought I'd get it out there for y'all...
I watched my grandmother deteriorate Wednesday evening, not quite here, not quite there, in between the place where she was dying and the place where she was coming alive. I stood there, watching her labor as each breath grew more and more labored, as her moans of suffering and wishes to be free from years of pain were yet unrelieved. I left that hospital room completely at peace and with no regrets.
Honestly, I wasn't that close to Grandma. There was something about my grandparents that left me uneasy and unnerved. Once in a while as a child staying with them, I would see a glimpse of an underlurking untold, the paint would peel only to have a fresh coat reapplied as soon as possible. Not too long ago, in a moment of either full disclosure or weakness, my mother shed some light on the truth. The truth horrified me, offended me, angered me. I resented my grandparents for their actions-- Grandma in particular--and for a while, I flatly disowned them. Their lives no longer were worthy of my respect and love.
For the next few months, I didn't see them, even though they lived next door. I barely talked to them. I lived my life, they lived theirs. Mom was taking care of Grandma full-time on top of a demanding job at the hospital and traveling with Dad when he needed her to assist him on business. I was mad at Grandma because she was sucking the life out of my mother. In the winter of her life, she was changing the seasons of the rest of us around her.
I got a call from Dad last week Tuesday, ironically in the same spot where I write this now. He informed me that Grandma took a turn for the worse in the night and that it looked like she wasn't going to make it. I spent the next two days racing in between the university and the hospital. And in those few days, and in the days that followed, everything inside fell apart.
I saw her slide away from life, and as I saw her slide, I learned to love her again. I bristled when several people around my life mentioned forgiveness; and to what exactly was I holding on? In those moments when life was most fragile, I ended whatever it was I had begun. And on that night when it was clear she was not going to make it through the night, I said nothing. Nothing needed to be said. Her suffering was going to end, her faith nearly complete. I left everything I held against her in room four of the ICU at St. Michael's and walked out of the unit fulfilled and at ease.
Scripture tells us that we are forgiven if we forgive, it also tells of the God who went to extreme measures to reconcile us to himself. I submit that forgiveness is not so much an act that keeps us united with God, but rather it keeps us united with each other. Forgiveness, contrition, reconciliation, these are all things that sustain healthy fellowship (noun, not verb.) We are children, we are people who hide the Spirit of Christ in plain sight, we are people of faith known by our love for one another and that means we are people who must be people of forgiveness. We hold grudges and resent people out of the fact that we too are suffering people.
I no longer resent my grandmother, my anger with her became empathy when we began to realize that we have sufficient reason to think Grandma was victimized as a child. As she laid in her hospital room, she kept crying out “Mother! Mother!” and “Let me out! I want out!” in her unconscious state. It was only after she passed that we realized she was remembering what happened to her as a child, and a feeling of creepiness swept over the room. We were exposed to her haunted past, we saw a glimpse of a decades-long suffering woman.
We are angry and lash out because we too are suffering, incomplete people. We hold grudges and resent for the same reasons. True forgiveness may not be the automatic reflex of our humanity, but it is a choice made out of our relationship to an all-loving and just God. We have made ourselves unworthy of God's respect and love. That said, we become our own lesser gods when we refuse to let grace flow where offense and injustice may have taken place. My unforgiveness was an idol in my life, a high place set up inside a heart that claimed to be committed to the God who is.
If we are to continue to be the people of God and community of faith that prides itself on our relationships and love for one another, we must become people of forgiveness and grace; and that only comes when we follow Christ with passion and sacrifice, allowing the Spirit of Christ to clothe us with humility in relation to everyone around us. The point is not to take the high road (taking such an attitude is no different than holding a grudge), the point is to remind ourselves that we are more than unworthy unless we accept Christ's atonement in our place.
The path of Christ is the path marked with forgiveness. Union with God demands detaching from the hate, offense and anger we hold against people who may or may not have truly violated us.
Forgive and you will be forgiven. It's not necessarily God who forgives us, we are ultimately the ones who forgive ourselves and then God leads us toward himself. Grandma is resting in peace. Now I can too.
I watched my grandmother deteriorate Wednesday evening, not quite here, not quite there, in between the place where she was dying and the place where she was coming alive. I stood there, watching her labor as each breath grew more and more labored, as her moans of suffering and wishes to be free from years of pain were yet unrelieved. I left that hospital room completely at peace and with no regrets.
Honestly, I wasn't that close to Grandma. There was something about my grandparents that left me uneasy and unnerved. Once in a while as a child staying with them, I would see a glimpse of an underlurking untold, the paint would peel only to have a fresh coat reapplied as soon as possible. Not too long ago, in a moment of either full disclosure or weakness, my mother shed some light on the truth. The truth horrified me, offended me, angered me. I resented my grandparents for their actions-- Grandma in particular--and for a while, I flatly disowned them. Their lives no longer were worthy of my respect and love.
For the next few months, I didn't see them, even though they lived next door. I barely talked to them. I lived my life, they lived theirs. Mom was taking care of Grandma full-time on top of a demanding job at the hospital and traveling with Dad when he needed her to assist him on business. I was mad at Grandma because she was sucking the life out of my mother. In the winter of her life, she was changing the seasons of the rest of us around her.
I got a call from Dad last week Tuesday, ironically in the same spot where I write this now. He informed me that Grandma took a turn for the worse in the night and that it looked like she wasn't going to make it. I spent the next two days racing in between the university and the hospital. And in those few days, and in the days that followed, everything inside fell apart.
I saw her slide away from life, and as I saw her slide, I learned to love her again. I bristled when several people around my life mentioned forgiveness; and to what exactly was I holding on? In those moments when life was most fragile, I ended whatever it was I had begun. And on that night when it was clear she was not going to make it through the night, I said nothing. Nothing needed to be said. Her suffering was going to end, her faith nearly complete. I left everything I held against her in room four of the ICU at St. Michael's and walked out of the unit fulfilled and at ease.
Scripture tells us that we are forgiven if we forgive, it also tells of the God who went to extreme measures to reconcile us to himself. I submit that forgiveness is not so much an act that keeps us united with God, but rather it keeps us united with each other. Forgiveness, contrition, reconciliation, these are all things that sustain healthy fellowship (noun, not verb.) We are children, we are people who hide the Spirit of Christ in plain sight, we are people of faith known by our love for one another and that means we are people who must be people of forgiveness. We hold grudges and resent people out of the fact that we too are suffering people.
I no longer resent my grandmother, my anger with her became empathy when we began to realize that we have sufficient reason to think Grandma was victimized as a child. As she laid in her hospital room, she kept crying out “Mother! Mother!” and “Let me out! I want out!” in her unconscious state. It was only after she passed that we realized she was remembering what happened to her as a child, and a feeling of creepiness swept over the room. We were exposed to her haunted past, we saw a glimpse of a decades-long suffering woman.
We are angry and lash out because we too are suffering, incomplete people. We hold grudges and resent for the same reasons. True forgiveness may not be the automatic reflex of our humanity, but it is a choice made out of our relationship to an all-loving and just God. We have made ourselves unworthy of God's respect and love. That said, we become our own lesser gods when we refuse to let grace flow where offense and injustice may have taken place. My unforgiveness was an idol in my life, a high place set up inside a heart that claimed to be committed to the God who is.
If we are to continue to be the people of God and community of faith that prides itself on our relationships and love for one another, we must become people of forgiveness and grace; and that only comes when we follow Christ with passion and sacrifice, allowing the Spirit of Christ to clothe us with humility in relation to everyone around us. The point is not to take the high road (taking such an attitude is no different than holding a grudge), the point is to remind ourselves that we are more than unworthy unless we accept Christ's atonement in our place.
The path of Christ is the path marked with forgiveness. Union with God demands detaching from the hate, offense and anger we hold against people who may or may not have truly violated us.
Forgive and you will be forgiven. It's not necessarily God who forgives us, we are ultimately the ones who forgive ourselves and then God leads us toward himself. Grandma is resting in peace. Now I can too.
